Coronaviral Thoughts
Coronaviral life in our household is going smoothly for the most part, as it’s just me, my husband Tony, and our three cats who sleep during the day (except when it’s time for a video call, when they decide it’s time for ALL the snuggles on both me and my laptop). Before isolating (will history note this time as “B.I.”?), Tony and I both commuted from the suburbs to the Downtown district of Las Vegas, while I would work occasionally from my home office. After isolating, A.I., we both made the transition to work full-time from home, which has gone quite smoothly.
Our fur-kids are fairly self-sufficient, Tony and I have a fun and compassionate marriage, and we live a fairly straightforward life. Today especially, I’m think about individuals and families who aren’t in such simple scenarios.
PARENTS — Parents will be finding themselves with their hands fuller than they were before. Many are trying to homeschool for the first time, while tending to kids’ fleeting attention spans, while keeping them from wrestling and fighting. Keeping kids fed, clean, healthy, educated, and stimulated is a stressful game of whack-a-mole, nevermind the rest of the responsibilities and concerns they’re mentally balancing.
KIDS — Many children are in “food insecure” situations, where school is often the place where they receive the best or only meal they receive during the day. I’ve been seeing that lots of food banks are adjusting to try and get food to kids and adults differently as a result, but I am sadly sure that many children’s nutrition and health will decline because of this disruption of routine. Also, school provides a critical childcare role, offering educational services as well as behavioral and socioemotional support services, families will surely be experiencing this void A.I.
RELATIONSHIPS — Many adults have unhealthy, unsupportive, or dysfunctional relationships. More than the everyday pet peeves we all have that get under one another’s skin after awhile, many women and men, find mental, emotional, and physical relief and safety outside the home. Self-isolation isn’t just a frustration for them, it can be a matter of life or death. This is far more prevalent than we’d like to think, and I am terrified for those whose safety is at a much higher risk A.I.
Even if abuse isn’t part of the equation, couples are now forced to spend much more time around one another than B.I., getting reacquainted with the person they’ve built a life with. Many couples disconnect and drift apart emotionally as time goes on, even if the external routines of living and making decisions together stay the same. We all change, and as we reintroduce ourselves to our partners, our current selves may not end up being as great a match as our earlier selves. My bets are on industries like divorce attorneys and relationship/marriage/family therapists having their hands full, post-isolation (P.I.).
For those of you who are relationship professionals, such as therapists, counselors, and coaches, I truly hope you consider offering your services remotely via phone or video conference, as isolation life will be a major strain for thousands.
BUSINESSES — Here in Las Vegas, king of the hospitality world, we’re seeing businesses great and small come to a standstill. For those who have planned ahead or who have extra revenues, employees are granted a continuation of pay for a set number of weeks, but many simply don’t have the reserves to support salaries without revenues coming in. Small businesses are closing doors left and right, and business owners are scrambling to pivot, to adapt, and there’s no rulebook to follow in this situation.
While it’s simple to identify the doom and gloom of this coronaviral life, it is *critical* that we remember and lean into the fact that the best solutions come from a mindset of opportunity and possibility. What we focus on expands — as I wrote this brain-download of a post, more and more examples of scary, negative, and detrimental scenarios kept coming to me.
Think of your mind as a search engine. It’s important to acknowledge the varied realities of how this A.I. life is playing out for families near and far, AND it’s even more important that we choose to channel our focus on what CAN be done. We do this by finding a sense of peace, accepting that this is where we are, and deciding the kind of person we are going to move through this as.
Will you decide to be the harbinger of bad news, ridden with anxiety and sharing stories of scarcity and fear and mistreatment? Will you decide to express gratitude that your situation isn’t worse, and express gratitude for the resources you do have available to you? Will you decide to share the posts people share of available support (family, personal, food, etc.) online?
Breathe. Express gratitude. Decide what version of you will walk through this.